Zindagi ka maksad (This post is in hindi)

मैं ऑफिस से आते वक़्त रोज़ एक जगह से गुज़रती हूँ - एक वीराना, एक खँडहर, एक कब्रिस्तान|

कुछ नया नहीं है, जैसे कब्रिस्तान होते हैं वैसा ही है वो भी, लेकिन आज जब मैं आ रही थी, मैंने गौर किया की कुछ कब्रें ऊपर उठे हुए चबूतरों पर हैं और कुछ एकदम नीचे धंसी हुई, कुछ के आसपास एक छोटी सी बाउंड्री वाल है और कुछ कब्रें एक दूसरे में एकम-एक हो रही हैं. ऐसा लग रहा था जैसे कुछ कब्रों की हैसियत बाकियों से ज़्यादा है और वो ऊपर से बोल रही हैं की मैं तुमसे बेहतर हूँ, तुम सबसे बेहतर

फिर मैंने सोचा क्या इंसान को मर के भी शांति का सुख नहीं मिल सकता? एक की कब्र दूसरे से बेहतर है, लेकिन ये भी सोचा की शायद एक ने अपने घर वालों को खुश रखा होगा और दूसरे का शायद कोई होगा ही नहीं

कितना अजीब होता है न इंसान मरने के डर से कुछ नया करता नहीं है लेकिन मरना ही तो एकमात्र सत्य है, ये कभी एहसास नहीं करता

जिसका कोई नहीं है वो भी ज़मीन के नीचे ही है, और जिसकी पूरी दुनिया खिदमत में थी कभी, वो भी ज़मीन के नीचे ही है चाहे कितने भी बड़े या ऊँचे चबूतरे पर हो

तो क्या ज़िन्दगी से ज़्यादा बड़ा सत्य मौत है? हाँ, ज़िन्दगी तो कभी भी छीनी जा सकती है, लेकिन मौत आने के बाद क्या आता है ये किसी को नहीं पता, तो मेरे सीमित दिमाग से तो मौत ही बड़ा सत्य है

फिर कुछ काम करना ही क्यों है? जब पता है मौत तो आनी ही है, तो अपनी मर्ज़ी से धुंए में ज़िन्दगी को उड़ाना बेहतर क्यों नहीं है? लोग काम क्यों करते हैं, इतनी मेहनत क्यों करनी है?
इसका जवाब मुझे पता है
ज़िन्दगी जीने का मज़ा जिसने लिया है, ऐसे शख्स से मेरा वास्ता पड़ा था
चाहे मैं मात्र पांच साल की थी, तब वो चले गए, लेकिन हम सबको जीना सीखा गए थे
ज़िन्दगी का असली मकसद है "सेवा"
जैसे की आजकल का एक लोकप्रिय नाटक "गेम ऑफ़ थ्रोन्स" में बोलते हैं "वलार दोहरीस" - आल मेन मस्ट सर्व
ये ज़िन्दगी या बोलना चाहूंगी एक अच्छी ज़िन्दगी का सार है - सर्विस ऑफ़ फेलो ह्यूमन बीइंगस 

Loss

I can't write with you gone

Staring emptily in the mirror

Numbed by the sounds of your broken promises

Looking for myself in the touch of strangers

Crawling through my identity towards a forgotten dream

Sipping the tears from an empty vessel

Fearing the thumps that walk towards me

Remembering what I was like

And mourning the loss of myself

Loss is just an illusion

There is no such thing as Loss. If we analyze a situation more closely,  we will see that it will always lead to some gain. If we lose a dear one, we gain strength to move on. If we lose in our careers, we learn about some mistakes that we did. If we lose some ability, we find new ways to do the same stuff differently.

Life is all about gaining. Once you are here, in this world, you only gain. Now you must be thinking, she is just an idealist who likes to paint a happy picture of life because she has never had to deal with loss.

But believe me, I have lost people close to me, I have been fighting depression since three years, and I still am going through a tough time emotionally. I have known loss, and it has become a friend. I have seen great academic success and great academic failure in my adolescence. But the one thing I realized every time was, I learned more when I was going through a tough time. I pushed myself more and I emerged more beautiful than ever when life got tough on me.

I think a lot, and I have this need to document my every thought because it helps me see where I am heading towards. Your current thoughts are a reflection of your future life. To correct the course of your life, just correct your thoughts. It's as simple as that. All I am trying to say is, the situations that life throws at you, matter less and how you think about them matters more.

I am not saying don't grieve losses, but realize that they are a blessing in disguise and you are going to get through it and be stronger that ever. And always remember, it's who you are that matters in the end, so be the best possible version of yourself.

A lazy Saturday Afternoon and a turbulent mind

Sometimes you feel so overwhelmed by a single emotion that life seems pointless and difficult. The event that triggered that emotion, takes over your mind and body for that time and you feel that there is nothing else to life. I have seen my friends, obsessing over a relationship, pining over some friend's betrayal or worse, having self-destructive tendencies because their love was not reciprocated. 

All these situations have a single thing in common - The inability to shift our mind to see the bigger picture. Their minds were so engaged in that single event, trying to figure out what went wrong, whose mistake it was, are they a bad person etc etc, that they neglect other things.

All of us, at least those who are on internet and viewing this right now, I am sure, are blessed with beautiful things in life. Then why some of us, despite being so privileged, are not able to feel so. It's because we are not looking in the right place. We have a tendency to go after things that seem shiny and that are placed on some pedestal, things that seem special because no one has them, things that are not meant for us. We fail to recognize that the best things in life are very simple, as simple as cooking on a Sunday morning, having brunch with friends, saying I love you to your mother, talking about philosophy to your father, giving a small compliment to your colleague. It's important to appreciate these small things in life and then only we can focus on our dreams and goals. If we keep running, if we don't have peace of mind, then how can we expect to fulfill our aspirations.

Friends is one series that continues to surprise me and I keep learning from it.
I was watching an episode - The one with George Stephanopolis. In the ending of the episode, Rachel looks at her friends and tells the credit card guy, "I don't need credit card, I have magic beans".We just need to realize we have magic beans too. ;)

Our misery ends when we can say to ourselves that "just because one thing did not work out, it cannot stop me from having that life I had always imagined for myself. I am blessed and there is something special planned for me. My life is full of abundance and I am here to make this world a better place".

Where are you?

What are we so afraid of? What is it that makes us so smooth in small talk, but we quit when we really start knowing someone?

Why the hell are we so afraid to embrace their dark sides and talk about it?

Why doesn't anyone talk about what are they afraid of the most, or what keeps them awake at night,
or what makes their heart fill with so much happiness that they can't breathe?

Where are you? Where is the real you?

What are you going to do with this tough exterior?

Why don't you let me in? Why are you afraid to play all your cards?

What makes you afraid of judgement? Why do you yourself judge? Why can't you say what's on your mind?

Why do you have to hide? Just let me in. Let me dance with your demons and make love to your scars.
Let me make your heart pound faster when I touch you and let me make your world go slow when I play with your hair.
Let the others worry about the days and let us elope into the night, never to be found out by them.

It's Time to Come Home...

There is a palace above the earth,

At a place where no one resides.

It’s the place where our souls  wander,

When they can’t sleep at night.

That palace is magnificent,

With beautiful gardens and fountains and trees.

It has a big chandelier,

Of everyone’s hopes, wishes and dreams.

It is floating above our heads on a cloud,

Not attached to a string anybody can cut.

Everyone is welcome into that palace,

Alas! Very few people dare to break their rut.

All of us were there when the palace was formed,

It had a very strong foundation.

The palace is made of love,

Of hope, of faith and of compassion.

But most of us have forgotten,

the way to that place.

It’s time to remember the way...

It’s time to come home now.